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Tubtime (Creative Writing Class - UofM, 1993)

ENG 394 4:00 - 5:15pm
Dr. Fred Svoboda
February 2, 1993

    Barbie gracefully stepped into the waterfall, the water caressing her hardened, well-formed body.  She felt her form as the liquid ran through every nook and cranny.  Her itsy-bitsy, neon-colored bathing suit soaked up the fluid with ease, cooling off the hot skin beneath.  She pushed the water back from her face, allowing the water to rake her golden wheat strands down her well-defined back.  Her sun-tanned face smiled as the water danced around every beautiful feature:  her small, petite nose;  her full, sensual lips;  her shimmering, blue eyes;  her perfectly straight white teeth.  Her chest heaved with a sigh of happiness, sending ripples through her rounded breasts.
She stood at the edge of the mighty white cliffs;  below, the turbulent waters of the sea.  Barbie had become an excellent diver, but this dive could win her the world grand championship.  Up on her miniature toes she rose.  Her toned legs tightened, her buttocks clenching in anticipation of the jump;  Barbie took a breath in, lifting her grand chest into position. Elegantly, she raised her slender, muscular arms into the air.  The wind ruffled through her drying, flaxen hair.  Her smile was confident.
Barbie leapt into the air, higher than she had ever jumped before.  As taught by her great diving master, she bent at the waist, bringing her head down towards the water.  One flip, two flips, three flips, four flips, can she do another?  One more flip and Barbie hit the water perfectly, with little splash.  She dove deep, her ravishing hair trailing like the tail on a rocket.  She came out of the water, with her hands still above her head and a smile on her exquisite face.  She knew she'd won.
Barbie lounged on her shiny silver raft, floating in the Jamaican sea.  She reclined back, allowing one of her willowy hands to rest in the water.  With the other, she straightened her fashionable swimwear, to cover the almost exposed, round breast.  She smiled a pleasant smile as the sun drenched her in warmth.  As she heated, Barbie drew her silky leg up, positioning her foot next to her sun-kissed calf.
Suddenly, a shark attacked the raft.  With its jaws agape, the killer rose up onto the end of the raft, engulfing Barbie's straight leg.  Panic would have engulfed anyone, but Barbie knew Ginsu karate.  She quickly kicked the shark with her free leg in the gills, causing the gills to close.  The shark, unable to breath, couldn't close its mouth on Barbie's leg for fear of cutting off it's only means of breathing.
Instantaneously, Barbie launched at the fish with her hands of steel, delivering blow after blow until the vicious man-eater was driven back into the water.  Hoping to escape, the shark dove under the raft.  Barbie was ready for him.  She pounced onto the shark's back as he emerged on the other side.  The shark went into a frenzy, diving in and out of the water, shearing this way and that.  Barbie held on, waiting for her chance to strike.  And when the shark turned upside down, Barbie struck:  a blow to the shark's adam's apple forced the apple up into the shark's brain, killing the creature.  When they hit bottom, Barbie forced the shark off of her;  she grabbed the tail and headed for shore.  The jaws from this one would make another great trophy for her pool area.
As Barbie went back into the foamy brine to retrieve her raft, one of those tropical storms rolled in.  The waves grew bigger and bigger.  Barbie lost her way back to safety;  she couldn't see in which direction to head.  She tried staying afloat, but the waves crashed in on her, making it hard for her to stay up.  Crashing and rolling, under and over, the water tossed Barbie around and around.  The more she tried to swim, the higher the waves became.  She was having a hard time just keeping her face out of the water.  Suddenly, the cliffs loomed in the cracking lightning.  Barbie knew she had to get away.  Before she could act, King Neptuna raised his watery hand and threw Barbie into the rocks.
As suddenly as the storm had appearred, it left.  The water went back to its peaceful ways, beautiful and bright under the cloud-parting sun.  Barbie's inept body wafted in the ebbing tides.  Her sandy, sensational hair fanned out in the surface of the sea.  Her gorgeous body writhed with the ocean's currents.  The face that always smiled pressed itself into the water, as if looking for something long lost.  Barbie seemed lifeless, dead, bobbing in the Jamaican ocean.
    "Susie.  It's time to get out of the tub, honey."

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