Skip to main content

Bard's Hall Escapade Challenge #22, Bats, 2003

 

"Never seen a horse with boobs, before?"  She tromps her hoof a few times as her fists come to rest on her….well, hips?  Not entirely sure what they call that part where horse meets torso on a centaur, but yeah.  This brown haired pinto just gives me a fierce stare as she tries to get off the catwalk.  Yeah, it’s great at the Tavern of Desire – the place is packed with every type of creature known in the Kingdom, all hell bent on getting a lil’tits and ass tonight.

            A table of pig-faced, boil-ridden trolls gets a rowdy, pounding on the splintering table top for another round and for another wench.  This is my cue to do some crowd control before Hank has to come down; because if Hank has to come down the stairs, someone’s goin’ home in a casket.  And really, no one wants that – not even a drunken, ugly troll.

            “Hey, hey, hey!”  I take the steps two at a time, my own hooves poundin’ an attention-draggin’ beat.  What’cha expect?  Of course the master of ceremony’s a pan – aren’t all the good ones?  I mean, really, who fills out a vest better?  “What do you think of our Princess Victoria, huh?  She’d be the perfect date…a great lay and a ride home!”

            Oh gods, don’t let her hear that over the roar of laughter.  I’ll be pickin’ iron shoes outta my ass.

            “A teenage farm boy was told not to go to a burlesque show ‘cause he’d turn to stone. Doubtin’ this somewhat, he went one afternoon. Just as the first dancer starts, he jumps up and runs out of the place. The muscle chases him down.  When he catches the boy, he asks him what was wrong. The boy tells him about being turned to stone, and said, ‘When the show began, sure enough, I started to turn to stone.’  Ba-da-bing!”

            Response not as boisterous as the last round, but that’s okay; bought the barkeep a few minutes of fillin’ drink orders and givin’ the girls upstairs a bit of a shift change.  Gotta keep the customers rotatin’ through or Sitri doesn’t get her due.  And as much as I’d rather not have Hank rainin’ holy hell fire down on my furry ass, I really would not want to see the boss annoyed.

            No matter how damn beautiful she might be.

            “Are we ready for another?”  Whistles from a small cluster of man-wolves drowns out everyone else.  Yeah, bet they can smell her all ready.  “Gentleman, and I use that term loosely, allow me to introduce to you the fourth wonder of the Kingdom, straight from his Majesty’s bedroom – while the Good Queen’s not lookin’, mind you – the mysterious and delicious Trinna!”

            Whoops and hollers accompany me off the stage and the glistening blue divinity dances into view.  Not so much as she passes me on the barely held together wooden planks off the stage, but rather she shimmers onto the center of the stage, arms and legs poised like some exotic goddess.  The band of misshapen dwarves hired for the night start clicking and clanking their music just off from my right.  Around the edge of the jutting platform, the white waxed candles seemingly flare just a little bit brighter as she opens her eyes.

            And the room is transfixed.

            Turning to watch them from the doorway backstage, it’s amazing.  All shapes and sizes, colors…Elves from the Highlands, their fair hair glimmering in the glow;  the gnome couple, straight from the farm; a family of vampires – given away by that pale skin and cold, aloof eyes; bloodied and battered horned warriors, half drunk on mead and a recent, obvious battle;  a singular ox, shaped as a man, quietly sipping is grog at a back table; and scores of countless men, dressed in everything from robes to armour, from all walks of life.  All are silent in their breathing and still in their fixation of the dancer.

            Trinna’s arms – and I do mean all four – waver and move like waves of the ocean.  The golden bangles adorning each clink together in time to the music.  Her hips sway, splaying reflected light around the room from the scaled metal of her make-shift skirt.  She smiles that ever so small, smug one; knows she’s good.  So does everyone else because this is who they come back for, night after night: this black-haired, cerulean-hide queen of the promenade.

            Like a force of nature, she steps lightly towards them.  The maids scurry through the seated, motionless patrons, replacin’ empty copper cups with freshly filled.  Gold coin exchanges hands – but the girls know not to look.  Their faces keenly stay focused on their tasks, which is to milk the customers for as much as they can while the show’s on.  With the bumpin’ and grindin’ of a scantily clad object of worship prancin’ around the stage -- makes the patsies just a little slow on the uptake.  And what’s the old saying?  A fool and his money…

            Hell, anyone workin’ in this joint knows not to look at Trinna on stage.  Well, ‘cept Sitri herself.  She stands at the rail outside of the strumpet-rooms to watch.  Quite the spectacle herself, our boss is:  puts any nymph to shame with her lithe, muscular form.  Raven hair just spillin’ over her shoulder – but it’s her eyes that do you in.  Black – solid black with blood red irises.  And it’s those eyes that watch Trinna ever so closely.  Never quite ever able to figure out why, I mean, if you were the big boss, would you willingly go under one of your drudge’s spell?

            And just as our money-makin’ princess hits the big spin at the end of the stage, strippin’ away her golden top, the main doors bang open.  It’s only us not watchin’ that see him standin’ there, eyes wide and pantin’ like he just ran the length of King’s Way.  The brick layer’s son – oh, what’s his name?  They came from a neighboring city to do some repair work on the kitchen’s chimney.  Funny, hadn’t noticed him not in the crowd tonight.  He’s been here every night since him and his old man started the work.

            Eyes lock – Trinna and the young’un charge the room with their – aw, hell.  He’s smilin’, and she’s stopped in her routine.  And before anyone can do anything, the strappin’ buck starts makin’ his way through the crowd towards her, singin’ along with the band who’s still playing.

            “T’was one thing I could be, t’would be a candle.”  He’s not half bad in his warbling.  “Lighting the way so you could handle your life better, without woes, not having to keep on your toes…”

            The audiences’ startin’ to come around.  Gods, I swear I can hear his heart beating from here he’s so in love with her.  Which is completely stupid, mind you, but I’m sure he doesn’t know that.  And she – at the edge of the limelight watchin’ his approach, she basks in his worship; almost goes coy, foldin’ her arms to not only cover her bare breasts, but to cover her growin’ smile.

            “I’d help keep you from stumbling over things blocking your way to an open door.  If I light your path, life is easier, even strong winds, my flame will not deter.”

            And just as he brushes past the table filled with slobberin’ man-wolves, a well, manicured hand rests upon his tunic shoulder.  Her nails are dragon-scale red and her skin as white as the moon.  Standing head and shoulders above the rest, her midnight blue hair frames her rather scholarly face.  And judging by the look, she’s been dragged away from her studies again.  That’s not good -- Hank holds the boy from flyin’ into the arms of his true love.  There’s no joy for her about it in her onyx eyes.

            Before anyone can blink, Hank hoists the loverboy above her head.  She turns and heads towards the door.  There’s a flash of fire, literally, in Trinna’s eyes as she turns to burn a gaze up at the boss.  Sitri’s smilin’ down, watchin’ her muscle do her job.  This ain’t the first time some yokel got the hots for the main attraction; so what’s being played out in silence and stares ain’t new.  But this was a first where the suitor cooed in song. 

            That’s just a little too close to home for the boss.  Just as the blue-haired beasty, of sorts, breaks through the main doors, she takes a nod from the woman at the railin’.  Can’t ever decide if she’s as bound as the rest of us or merely summoned…Yep, the brick-layer’s gonna take a little bit longer to get the job done, I think.  He’s gonna be short a hand.

            There’s a loud swooshing of leathery wings, and Trinna sores into the air to the ooohs and aaahs of the crowd.  Rising up to match Sitri in stature, I suppose, she scowls at the boss with tears streaking down her face.  The boss just snaps her fingers at her performer and points down to the stage – she means business.   Man, my knees just quake from that boring glare.  Don’t wanna take her on, Trinna, honey, really.  You’re only gonna loose again.

            But with her usual tantrum, the topless dancer beats her bat wings rapidly, lets loose with a rather melodic scream and shimmies outta sight.  Only I can hear her dressing room door slam at the far end of the hall backstage.  Lookin’ up at the boss, she nods at me.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, the show must go on.

            “Sheila!  Shake your tail, honey.  You’re up next.”  I hear the bells on her ankles ring as she hurries along.  Climbing the stairs back onto the stage, I can’t but think of Trinna.  Don’t know why she does that, lures some poor sap into fallin’ in love with her.  Doesn’t she know, to break the contract, it’s got to be true love that’ll set her free?  And she ain’t never gonna find true love, because she’s a second-rate love goddess who can really only love herself.   It’s her own damn fault for signin’ up with the two demons that run this joint.

            But what can I say?  Not everyone gets a fairytale ending.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Still boldly going: The Shatner/Nimoy Conversation (BronzeShelter, 2002)

  Tease:  Creative Light Entertainment recorded William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy talking to each other about how their lives changed because of one television show.  The Bronze Shelter talks to Executive Producer, Scott Zakarin, about his Mind Meld project.  The simplest ideas prove to be the best:  Shatner and Nimoy talking.  Better idea?  Record the conversation.  That’s just what Creative Light Entertainment did:  MIND MELD: Secrets Behind the Voyage of a Lifetime .  The two pop culture kingpins kicked back at Nimoy's place to chat about their time on the Star Trek series and how the show affected the rest of their lives.)  Reviewers and fans alike have raved over the eighty minutes of friendly, honest banter that makes this copy a must see for fans and curious alike.  (This graph sounds like the teaser with the next one as the beginning of the article….Okay I take that back.  This graph would be great if the arti...

An Unconventional Thanksgiving (Editorial, 2003)

 Teaser:  Neither sleet, snow nor dead of night will keep this reporter from her appointed tasks:  cosmopolitans and comics.      Big white pillars and that age-old colonialism that comes with white domes that light up in the night sky is the last place I ever pictured to attend a comic book convention.  The Hilton Columbus, nestled in the Yuppieville of the Easton Town Center, end-capped a street lined in a Virgin Megastore, Cheesecake Factory and Barnes & Noble.  On the snowy weekend after Turkey Day, Roger and Jane Price threw the twenty-fourth annual Mid Ohio Con.      Am I name-dropping?  You bet, when the names are this good to drop.      After hitting the box office, the main drag down and around was lined with publishers and guests – I just loved seeing all the independent publishers and retailers right there.  I don’t know about anyone else, one of the most exciting things about going to a comic...

Writing Prompt #821

     “Bottoms up, bitches!” She declared with a hiccup, raising her glass.       “I don’t think it’s responsible for heroes to get drunk after defeating a villain,” another girl interjected. The first girl continued drinking, raising her middle finger.      It was weird for a Wednesday night.  Normally, during the middle of the week, the patrons were regulars and the drinks were beer on tap.  But that night, the room was filled with flamboyantly dressed women and the drinks were cocktails and white wine spritzers.      I wouldn’t say I worked at a drive bar, but more of a low-end Cheers.  The place didn’t serve food, but there was a pizza delivery joint down the block so food found its way in from time to time.  While the statewide smoking ban prevented a haze from obscuring faces, the old wood paneling and solid wood bar still smelled of well-loved, fully-smoked cigarettes.      ...